Cary Home Times - Marriage Mentor

Why Get Married?

Lesli Doares — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 04:36:46 UT

There have been many cultural changes over the past several decades which now make marriage a choice. Those were addressed in my last article. Today I want to examine how people come to this choice and how the reasons behind that decision affect the long-term success of the relationship...

Marriage is a Choice

Lesli Doares — Mon, 26 May 2008 05:33:15 UT

The current fifty per cent divorce rate means that it is not unreasonable to believe marriage as an institution is in trouble. It is a topic which has received much attention and research but no real solution...

Resentment – the Insidious Relationship Killer

Lesli Doares — Mon, 19 May 2008 05:23:39 UT

In the last series of articles I focused on important issues which can cause serious problems in relationships. One of the worst, and least recognized, is resentment...

Irreconcilable Differences

Lesli Doares — Wed, 14 May 2008 19:13:34 UT

Last time I addressed what really happens when we try to avoid conflict in our relationships. The inescapable conclusion of conflict avoidance is what’s known in family law as irreconcilable differences...

The Myth of Avoiding Conflict

Lesli Doares — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 04:02:15 UT

The recent scandal involving Elliot Spitzer brings up once again the way public figures handle private problems. At times like these, therapists are asked by their friends, clients, and sometimes reporters, why people who live in the public eye behave in ways that, when discovered, bring about their downfall and their family’s humiliation...

Dating vs. Courtship

Lesli Doares — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 02:53:10 UT

Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary defines a date as “an appointment for a specified time, especially a social engagement between two persons of opposite sex”. Courtship, on the other hand, is defined as “the process of engaging in social activities leading to engagement and marriage”. On the surface both terms seem pretty similar...

The Consequence of Fear to Ourselves and Our Relationships

Lesli Doares — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 05:59:06 UT

In my last article I examined how you can know if you want to be with a particular person or just be in a relationship. I introduced the possibility that many of our relationships are driven by a fear of being alone. Today, I would like to take a more in-depth view of this fear and how it hurts us as individuals as well as making healthy, successful relationships unlikely...

Do I Want You or Just a Relationship?

Lesli Doares — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 18:42:04 UT

In the last few articles I have been taking a look at what qualities/characteristics need to be present to have a truly successful relationship. I have focused on the importance of knowing who you are and what you require as an essential starting point. As part of the continuing discussion on this topic, I think it’s time to address what your actual goal for a relationship is and why you want to be in one...

Job Description for the Perfect Partner

Lesli Doares — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 20:24:03 UT

We are led to believe there is only one true love and circumstances must be just right if we are to have that perfect relationship. What many of us never learn is that many people can fill the role of “the one”...

Finding Your Happily Ever After Soul Mate

Lesli Doares — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 07:32:42 UT

As we find ourselves between the two most popular holidays for popping “the question”, I thought it was time to address an issue I am frequently asked about – how does one know if the person he/she is with is the “right one”?

Marriage is for Adults

Lesli Doares — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 18:46:09 UT

Recently I watched a television program focusing on the troubles of a very young married couple. There were multiple problems and disagreements in the marriage involving money, division of labor, raising the children, and inappropriate ways of fighting...

Resolve to Make Your Relationship Great

Lesli Doares — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 05:20:53 UT

Sam and Maria came to see me just after they got engaged. Maria had been married before; this would be Sam’s first. They came because they wanted to get their marriage right...

Is That All There Is?

Lesli Doares — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 07:32:34 UT

Another Christmas has come and gone. All the presents are opened and the wrappings thrown away. Was the day what you expected? Or are you left asking, “Is that all there is?”

The Perfect Gift

Lesli Doares — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 06:26:37 UT

Time is running out. The holidays are upon us. You have made all your plans and are just waiting for the arrival of Saint Nick and his eight tiny reindeer to get the festivities under way...

Getting Through the Holidays with Your Sanity (and Relationship) Intact

Lesli Doares — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 03:45:05 UT

As the holiday season continues, and the stress levels rise, I have been addressing the importance of establishing your own traditions and rituals. Today I am focusing on what you can do to make certain you maintain control over your celebratory experiences...